Last week was an interesting experiment in getting to know myself and my social needs. Both of my good friends from work were out of town and I suddenly found myself feeling alone at work. Of course, I wasn’t really alone, but socially it felt that way. There were plenty of other folks with whom I could have spoken, taken a coffee break, or had lunch, but it wasn’t as easy or comfortable as just hanging out with friends who wouldn’t be surprised if I asked them to join me for coffee.
I wasn’t too worried because I knew that Neelmani, specifically, would only be gone for a little over a week. I didn’t seem to mind having lunch alone at my desk or grabbing coffee without a friend, but slowly I started to notice that I was bored. Understandable right?
Keep in mind that when I use the word “bored” I don’t just mean that I wanted to do something fun. I mean that nothing seemed fun. Nothing interested me. I found I couldn’t get myself to stay at work as long as usual, but then when I went home I didn’t want to do anything there neither. I just lied in bed and tried to think of something that would brighten up my weary mind.
I looked outside at the rain and thought, “even the sky is gray, just like my mind” and then it hit me. I was depressed. Continue reading