1) Search for a site that gives you a quick and easy recipe.
2) Buy enough pasta at Costco to last two years.
3) Boil the noodles with tons of salt because you like them salty.
4) Find random canned foods around the house that might create a semblance of complimentary flavors.
5) Take photos of everything to document all your hard work.
6) Realize the noodles are too salty and boil more noodles without salt.
7) During your next trip to the store, pick up some capers and parmesan cheese ’cause those would be nice in the salad too.
8) Realize you have a ton of pasta salad because of adding more noodles, it’s over a week old, you only have two people to eat it, and you’re both full all the time because Dave gets awesome cheap food at Yahoo and you can’t stop cooking.
9) Toss out the pasta salad and make a post about it so everyone learns and has a good laugh.