10 Things I Won’t Miss About Being Pregnant, Part I

Our little dude at 35 weeks

Today is our “due date”! Woo! I put it in quotes because no one is really expected to take it seriously. Obviously, it’s just a suggested birth date, but since my body and my baby are colluding and leaving me out of their plans, I have no way of knowing when the birth will actually happen.

A few weeks ago I wrote a list of 10 Things I’ll Miss About Being Pregnant. Now that the end of the pregnancy is imminent I felt I should come up with a list of things I won’t miss in order to mentally prepare myself. So, to the items on this list I say, “good riddance!”….soon.

  1. Peeing in a cup – I mentioned this in my last post, but didn’t go into detail. Peeing in a cup is required at every doctor’s appointment. At first I just accepted it, but back then I had appointments once every four weeks. Now, I have the joy of attempting to pee into a tiny container that I can’t see, as I hold it blindly under my engorged belly, with the few drops of urine available in my squirshed bladder…every…single…week. Nice.

  2. Headbutts to the cervix – Toward the end of the pregnancy babies tend to hang out facing head down. This is a good thing as I hear breach babies are no fun to birth. The downside is this, skulls are hard and cervixes are sensitive. If I didn’t believe that it was helping to get the darn thing dilated I’d be one mad momma.

  3. Pooping a lot – It’s not that I really mind pooping, but four times a day? I mean, c’mon! I might have to start scheduling time for it. Everyone talks about how pregnant women have to pee a lot so I was prepared. Peeing frequently I can deal with as long as there’s a bathroom nearby. But no one likes to talk about poo. It wasn’t until one of my doulas brought it up the other day (doulas are great at bringing up things that other people won’t!) that I knew it was normal. I figured my body was making more space or flushing (ha ha, get it?) itself out in preparation, but having extra reassurance that things are working as they should be was great. Hearing that the things you’re experiencing are normal is very helpful when pregnant.

  4. Being asked the same questions repeatedly – I know y’all are just being nice and it really is sweet that you care, but if I’m asked “how are you feeling?” one more time I’m gonna lose my shit (what’s left of it. Ha!). I’m not sure exactly why it’s so frustrating, besides the fact that repetitive things tend to grate on my nerves. Maybe it’s because the only thing I can ever think of to say in response is, “good”. I know you want me to elaborate, but do you really want to hear, “well, I’m pooping about four times a day, my kid keeps headbutting my cervix, and I’m getting really tired of peeing in a cup once a week. Seriously, sometimes it gets on my hand. That sucks. So, how are you?” Yeah, I didn’t think so.

  5. Baby feet wedged in my rib cage – Baby feet are cute, I know. And I agree that it can be comforting to wiggle toes into snug little places. But they don’t feel good in my rib cage, baby! It’s like someone stuck a lever under the right side of my ribs and is slowly trying to pry the bones right out of my chest. Oh no! Did that gross you out? Try feeling it! Besides, you just read about poop. If you had a low threshold for ick, you would have stopped reading by now.

I can only manage half the list now because I’m tired. I would have added “being tired” to the list, but from what I hear I won’t be missing that, it will only get worse.

If a couple more days pass and I’ve still got a belly full of baby, you’ll likely see the second half of this list. If the floodgates open soon…well, who knows when you’ll hear from me again. Thanks for being flexible readers. 😉 Feel free to tell me about what you don’t miss about being pregnant. Who knows? I might steal some for the second half of my list.


8 thoughts on “10 Things I Won’t Miss About Being Pregnant, Part I

  1. Oh my gosh, yes, I have HATED being asked how I’m feeling during my pregnancies. I’m guilty of asking other pregnant women the same thing. But towards the end in particular, you’re exactly right — how is a woman supposed to answer that? People don’t really want to hear about the cervix smooshing and whatnot. But “I’m fine” isn’t right either. Bah, there needs to be a better catch-all question to ask people.

  2. Hmm… Not being able to put my shoes back on after I slipped them off for a few minutes. Not being able eat anything other than raw fruits and veggies because everything else made me too puffy. Having to eat every two hours because the baby was hungry.

    Everybody thinking I forgot to call them and tell then the baby was born when he was really just two weeks overdue. And people thinking I forgot to call them again when I was really just in labor for 32 hours.

    Oh and having ginormous boobs that hurt like hell. Plus all the stuff you mentioned.

  3. LOL ^That’s what I get for staying logged into my blog when my husband is around. Boy, it’ll be fun to have another kid in the house. Oh wait, if I count the cat it’ll be three. 😉

  4. Asking people how they are seems like normal conversation, pregnant or not. Niceties can get irritating in abundance but it’s nice to have people that care. It’s not something everyone has. I am interested in the body and not grossed out but fascinated. You can talk about poop with me, just not poop jokes which are old.

  5. R – Good to hear you don’t mind talking about poo. 😉 Unfortunately, most of the people who ask how I’m feeling are people who don’t know me very well.

    The problem is most likely small talk. It’s nice to get a conversation going and it’s a way to relate to people we don’t know well, but beyond that, it’s pretty empty conversation. That’s why happy people tend to have at least a few close friends with whom they can have intimate conversation. If a good friend asks me how I’m feeling I’m more likely to elaborate and we’ll get a good laugh or they’ll give me some advice or genuinely empathize.

    It is very similar to people asking “how are you” when you’re not pregnant, which can also get annoying when repetitive if only because it serves as a reminder that you haven’t had an intimate conversation in a while. Or it can make one think, “wow, I don’t feel like I can open up with this person and that sucks.”

    The difference I’m noticing now is that many people I don’t know well are asking “how are you feeling” instead of “how are you”. It feels like there’s an implication that I’m supposed to be feeling bad, but I’m not so that’s great! But it does make the conversation end there when I reply, “good”. Then, sometimes I get a blank stare as though it’s my responsibility to continue the conversation. But I don’t want to because I don’t want to make up crap just to keep talking and I don’t feel comfortable bringing up very personal things with someone I just don’t know in that way.

    The difference between “how are you” and “how are you feeling” is subtle, but I think the latter implies a little more prying when asked of a pregnant woman. It is a really general question, but when there’s something so obviously physical going on, it feels like people are asking about those physical things, which are embarrassing to talk about. They could be asking about the emotional side, but I’m so cautious emotionally that it’s rare for me to share “I’m a little nervous” or “kinda scared” with someone I don’t know very well.

    That’s just me, though. That’s why it makes me uncomfortable, I suspect. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to ask someone how they are feeling. In fact, like Amy wrote, I probably do it from time to time too. I just know that it creates minor irritation in me sometimes. I don’t really expect people, especially people who don’t know me well, to know that or actually change the way they talk to me. Small talk does have it’s place. It serves as a bridge to getting to know people better and that’s not a bad thing.

  6. Hi-la-ri-ous!!!
    At my age, I don’t remember the negatives about pregnancies as clearly. Of course, now you’ve reminded me. Thanks!!!!

  7. Too funny about all the pooping! I did NOT know that you were pooping 4 times a day! That makes me think that your bum must get sore. Too personal? Too bad: you brought up the poop. J/K << 😉 Cervix head butting made me laugh! You’ve been handling all this so gracefully…and with lots of humor!! You’re ALMOST done with all of it— yeah for no more pee cups! Cheers!

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