Esmeralda gazed up at the noonday sun wondering whether it truly could burn a cosmic hole in her retina.

“What is a retina? Where exactly is it and what does it look like?” She thought.

While contemplating the little black disc surrounded by luminescent iris and pondering the origin of the word “hazel”, a minuscule shadow descended with increasing hostility.

“What the—“ 

She swore she heard a “splat” as it planted itself firmly into the gooey bud in the corner of her eye.

Yes, a bird had shat directly in her eye.

She jumped back, blinking wildly and wiping ferociously at the tactless intruder until her backside careened into something hard.

“Ow!” Called out the passing jogger.

Esmeralda stumbled forward, still blind and soiled.

“On your left!”

She felt the wind of the passing bike on the tip of her nose and whipped around in a circle trying to regain her balance. Unfortunate for her foot, the ground failed to offer support at the appropriate height. It slammed hard onto asphalt just grazing the curb.

“Honk!”

In a last-ditch effort to regain a semblance of composure, Esmeralda catapulted herself back from the passing car and felt the wind knock right out of her as she landed face up on a perfectly manicured suburban lawn.

One thought consumed her as she lie gazing up at the sun gasping for breath.

“What is that gooey bud, anyway?”