That’s right! My contract at Yahoo ended last month so I’m back to working at home and spending most of my time working on my book. So far it has been going great. The therapy for the past year has definitely paid off. I’m finding myself armed with techniques to stave off the anxiety that leads to procrastination, pain and avoidance. I’ve also been reading Writing Down the Bones, which has been providing me with reminders to deal with my fear (even the best writers write a lot of crap!), motivation, and understanding.
But I’m being too abstract! Continue reading
Marc watches intently at what is taking place before him. He almost cannot believe his eyes as the bottle tips slightly back and the lips are parted in absolute pleasure. He’s heard stories of this before, but never witnessed with his own eyes the spectacle, the intrigue of observing this consummate act of pure delight. Never before so perfect. Content and pleasantly amused, like Mona Lisa, he shares the tiniest expression wrought delicately as if anything more forceful would spark a cavalcade of insight into the vast unseen secrets that lie within. Continue reading
Clearly I have been off the blogging track for the past week or so. The only explanation is that I’ve been busy with other things. Isn’t that weak? Well, to give myself a bit of a motivational boost I’m lowering my goal from posting every weekday to three times per week. That seems reasonable doesn’t it?
The photo posts are pretty quick to present, once the shot has been taken, edited, and uploaded, but it has also been requested that I write more like I used to or at least diversify my posts. I can’t argue with that and in fact, had been thinking the same thing myself.
For now, enjoy these photos of my grandma with a handful of one dollar bills. That ought to tide you over until I get some writing time. Just ask yourself, what was grandma doing with all those singles?
The time has come to bid a reluctant goodbye to more than one loyal toilet that has been with me for nearly five years. The years of servitude were spent very differently between the two: one spent day and night throughout the changing seasons holding various ornaments of beauty in stark contrast with its original purpose while the other continued in its modest role as a vessel of expulsion. Continue reading
Today’s photo post is a double whammy since both were taken on the same day, my birthday! Dante peered at the poster for the ambient music event at the Madrone Lounge in San Francisco, looked up at me, pursed his kitty lips, and narrowed his eyes in an expression that could only be taken one way.
“Ambient music? C’mon.”
Well, Dante, you’re one to talk about taste. You eat Buster’s puke.
Later in the evening
If you plan to get some cancer, try to make it the basal cell kind. Not only is it slow-growing and extremely rare to metastasize, it was also a breeze to cure. They just carve it out! (Tiny knock on wood just in case it decides to come back. There’s a 97-99% chance that it won’t according to Dave’s recent research.)
Today was a special sort of Halloween and my nose was the pumpkin.
Tomorrow I wake at the normal time, shower like every other day, and eat the bowl of Cheerios I enjoy almost every morning, but instead of shuttling or biking into Yahoo afterwards, Dave is going to drive me to the Palo Alto Medical Foundation (PAMF) dermatology department for my Mohs surgery.
That is, of course, assuming the surgery is a go tomorrow. I did manage to break one itty bitty rule. Continue reading
I feel as though I grew up during a strange time in which things weren’t defined very clearly. There were certain ways of doing things in the past that were not often questioned due to the strictness of social pressure and then came free love, drugs, hippies, anti-war, anti-imperialist, anti-establishment protesters….and then I was born. After all that. When it all started to calm down, but the lingering effects were still felt. With some people still believing in them passionately, others still fighting them as though they were as common and powerful as they had been in their time and most people just simply going back to trying to make their way through the day not really giving them much of a second thought, but living their lives differently than they would have 20, 30 or 50 years earlier nonetheless.
I know these sorts of upheavals happen throughout history and in fact, are probably happening around me right now, but I just don’t have the hindsight yet to notice them. Nevertheless, I can’t help feeling that there is an overarching sense of confusion in the world around me. We’re so stuffed with information, facts, and experiences that we don’t know what to think nor what to believe anymore.
I awoke at 4am to a typical bout of tangential thinking, unable to sleep and began a spirited conversation with the bathroom walls. When those walls became confining and hunger began to claw at my stomach, alternately pushing stomach acid up through my esophagus as it often does, I carried my tirade to the living room where I held conference with my perpetual audience. The one which never judges, unless I choose them to, never interrupts but with tiny insights and questions that press the subject along, and the one with whom I’m always able to come to an understanding in the end.
We have concluded this:
I recently saw a primary care physician (PCP) here in CA, even though I had seen my MN PCP back in September, because I was hoping she could prescribe me meds while I wait for a psychiatry appointment. Although that didn’t work out, I left her office with instructions to make three additional medical visits. Continue reading
Here is yet another attempt to keep friends and family updated on our activities without resorting to boring discussions about the weather (“It’s 10 below in MN? Wow, would you believe it got up to 66 here today?”) or work (“So Microsoft wants to buy Yahoo, eh? What would you call them then, Microhoo?”).
Since moving to the San Francisco Bay Area I have: Continue reading