Time for cramming more microblogging into a full blog post! I’m thankful that my slightly younger self was able to take the time to make quick updates to Facebook so I can look back on the first couple weeks of my son’s life. It’s just a snapshot, but it brings back memories and allows me to elaborate now, while I still remember some details. Continue reading
Remember that movie Awakenings? Do you remember how Robin Williams’s character, the doctor, had a theory that these unmoving people were actually moving so much that they became frozen and that’s when he decided to try the medicine used for Parkinson’s? I haven’t seen the movie in a while, but it was something like that, right?
That’s how I feel sometimes. Frenetic to the point of paralysis. Continue reading
In preparation for the birth of our first baby sometime in the next few weeks I started reading HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method by Marie F. Mongan. I’ve just started it, but already I’m impressed by the calming effect it is having on me. Funny thing is, I haven’t even begun to read much about the specifics of the technique.
In the first part of the book Mongan spends much of her time convincing the reader that childbirth does not have to be painful. Continue reading
I’ve decided that if I can get through this pregnancy and the subsequent adjustment to a baby without too much freaking out, that will show that I have made an enormous amount of progress in the anxiety realm.
I feel I’m getting to the part of the pregnancy in which I’m having more anxious thoughts. Continue reading
I’m feeling crappy today so this is an experiment in seeing if I can get a blog post out on a day when I am not feeling up to it, or doing anything for that matter.
I’m not sure why I’m feeling icky, sad, depressed, or whatever you call it, but I have a couple of ideas. One is that it’s so darn dreary today. It was warm and sunny the past few days so it’s surprising that one day like this can trigger such bad feelings, but it has happened before. Could just be that the crummy day is one ingredient in a cocktail of crappy mood. Continue reading
I’ve decided that I’m missing a certain passion in my writing because I’m afraid to write about those things that make me feel passionate. It is a scary feeling, the feeling of passion and I don’t like feeling out of control. I wish I could go back to relinquishing control once in a while. I have built such a fortress of acceptable behavior around myself that I’m not sure when it’s ok to act out. Acting out in writing is probably ok, but even after years of therapy and over one year of weekly therapy specifically focused on recognizing my emotions and letting myself feel them, I am still afraid of them and afraid to let myself act as though I feel.
One of the writing exercises mentioned at the Foothill College writing conference I went to this past summer is to list the things I am passionate about, choose something from the list and write on that topic. I will incorporate this into my therapy by adding my own important requirement, reflection. Continue reading